Kyle Dreier - Mr. Critical

One could probably make a pretty quick, and accurate, assumption about what speaks volumes to my love language simply by reading my blog entries. Simplicity (if there’s a way to actually speak that into someone love language) would be one. Another? Let’s see, hmmm … what could it be. Food maybe? (In the Church Lady voice.)

Yes, food is and has been for as long as I can remember a very strong part of my love language. I enjoy a good meal. I enjoy preparing a good meal. I enjoy a good meal being prepared for me.

Love languages are interesting. I find that because I like food I try to use that as a love language to my children. I enjoy doing a big batch of French toast for my kids (although it’s been weeks since I’ve done this because of our new low sugar lifestyle.)

I also enjoy the art of food. “Presentation is everything” is my motto. I also enjoy the adventure of food. Amy and I recently had a nice date evening and at one of our favorite restaurants we let the waiter choose one of our entrees. What he brought our was a fantastically presented and very tasty dish. (I’ll blog on this at a later date.)

Friday night I experienced a carrot cake that was tops. I’m not just saying that. Just to give a little perspective here, you know how most guys at their wedding have a grooms cake? So far all that I’ve seen have been chocolate. Yes, I love chocolate, but at our wedding my grooms cake was carrot.

Friday night’s cake was the best carrot cake I’ve had. I mentioned this to the host, Susan McKinney, who informed me she was the baker. I should have know. She’s an excellent baker, cook, chef … food maker.

So where did this lead? Church Sunday morning I’m handed a half carrot cake! What a great gift. What a huge deposit into my love language account! It was so good, I had to take a photo.

I ate three pieces Sunday.

-Kyle Dreier

A technique suitable for children (and dogs).

I can’t tell you how often I will say a command to my children multiple times. “Please put your toys in the toy box. Put your toys in the tox box. Toys. Box. Now.”

One rare occasions when I’ve got my wits about me I make a conscious effort to say what I want one time, and if it’s not followed with obedience then I take action in the form of consequences. In our house, consequences look like separation from the others for a few minutes (aka “time out”) or loss of a privilege like TV for a day or no dessert after dinner.

I’ve observed other parents who will ask their child to do something and the child does not respond. This starts the process of “by the time I count to 3…” which then becomes the norm. I’ve told myself I’m not going to do this. But, what I’ve found is that I am asking my children to do something over and over. No more. I’m tired of my behavior and how that affects my children’s behavior.

Yep, I’m taking responsibility.

We were having issues with our dogs a number of years ago. They wouldn’t come when we said “Come! Come here. Daisy, come come come!” We hired a “Behavior Specialist” to consult. She made it very clear that she wasn’t here to change the dogs behavior, but change our behavior.

I’m convinced our frustration with our children when they don’t listen is due to our lack of consistency and consequences. They’re only doing what we’ve allowed them to do. My behaviour must change.
- Kyle Dreier

I’m not sure what I’m really trying to accomplish with my Wednesday Night outings. On one hand, it’s a built in evening for me to exercise my trigger finger in shooting various things … shooting photographs that is. On the other hand, it’s an excuse for me to venture out a bit to try new eating establishments.

I am starting to see a pattern in how I choose where to eat. Thus far I’ve selected venues which are not chains, which are ethnic and which are a little outside my normal routine. That’s part of the adventure.

Tonight was no different. I remembered seeing a place that I’ve driven by many times. Tonight, I was looking for enchiladas to rival Ojeda’s in Dallas. A quick side note about Ojeda’s … the first time I went there was back in the mid 70’s and they have the best enchilada dinner I’ve ever had.

::

::

::

::

Tonight my venture out took me to a quaint little place on Columbia Avenue in Franklin. It was good. It was nice. The people were nice. Does it get the prize? No. But I’ll be back.

- Kyle Dreier

While I’ve long prided myself in my ability to communicate with visuals I’ve never considered my ability to communicate with words to be very strong. As Steve Martin puts it “Some people have a way with words, and other people … not have way.”

My biggest downfall has been spelling. I’ve got a friend (who shall remain anonymous … Jeff McMahon) who can look at a page of text and see a misspelled word. Me? I can look at a page of text and see a poorly kerned word. So, when I see something misspelled it must be a doozy. (See photo below.)

When I see something misspelled or the use of poor grammar I make a judgment about the author. “Oh, must not be very smart.” Or “Must be a southern bumpkin.” Truth be known, I’ve got a friend who has C- spelling and B- grammar but was the CEO of a large company and has done very well in his professional career.

So, that raises the question about communication. How important is grammatical and spelling accuracy? Someone once told me “I’d rather be rich than right.” You could certainly take this statement a number of ways but for me who likes to work with a great deal of analysis and tweaking it means giving up some of accuracy to just keep moving forward. I’m certainly learning to do this on an ongoing basis.

Yes, I pride myself on doing things well. I guess more than anything I have to decide what is worth doing well and what is worth doing good enough.

Does this hand-painted sign here in Franklin, Tennessee communicate what it needs to? I believe it does. Had this kind of communication been on an investment firm I’d say it would be communicating but not sending the right message of stability, trust and longevity. While communication is more than words, communication is also in how they are presented. This all together is “message.”

I wonder what message I communicate in my writing, my speech, my appearance. There are many times I don’t really care and there are many times I do care. I’d hate to communicate a message that wasn’t consistent with my values … at least with people that I wanted it to matter.

For now, I’ll just proceed … right or wrong.

- Kyle Dreier

It all started at 5:30 am with my alarm clock. By 6:15 I was on the grounds where the 66th Iroquois Steeplechase would take place – me and a handful of volunteers. The rains from the day before had created a moody fog for the early hours of the day, but the forecast prevailed and you couldn’t have asked for better weather.

I shot close to 1,000 shots. I’m usually happy with about 1 out of 10 and of those pics I’d say 1 out of 5 are publishable. Do the math and I’ve got about 20 images. Of those maybe 6 or 7 are portfolio worthy. I’m about one half done with my edits and thought I’d put up a few images, somewhat of a primer to a photo essay I’ll post at a later date.

My approach for the day was to try and capture the day in a documentary “day in the life” concept. Here is a small sample.

Pre-race, and pre-people.

::

Hats are an important part of the outfit.

::

The Winner of the Final Race.

::

Stay tuned for the photo essay which will likely be posted at dreier.com.

Unti then …

-Kyle

In an attempt to raise courteous, respectful and well mannered boys I find myself working to get them to look into the eyes of adults when they are either speaking or listening. As I do this, just like many other things about parenting, I find myself more aware of my eye contact with others.

I realize this might be asking a bit from a 5 year old and a 3 year. To be honest, I think we don’t expect enough of our children … at least in the area of manners.
The other day I’m at the grocery store picking up a few things. I’m a little appalled and my own behavior. Somewhere along the way I’ve gotten into the habit of making it more important for me to look at my change, my receipt, etc. With a small conscious effort I can look up at the eyes of the cashier and say “thank you” or “have a good day.”
I think it’s the little things that make a difference in one’s day. I know I feel much more appreciated and respected when someone makes an effort to slow down enough to look me in the eyes. Just think about all the junk some people have to deal with each day. Why not share a look in their eyes with a smile and a few nice words.
Now that I’m getting better at this I think my next step is to simply ask their name, or read their name tag and use their name. People love to be called by their name. Don’t you?
I do.

-Kyle

This past weekend I was involved in showing some of my photography at an arts festival at church. You can see my art at www.dreier.com. During the weekend there was a dance program as well. I figured it’d be a typical dance recital … cute but no real depth to the program. Boy was I surprised. Not only was it really cute, but it was a fantastically executed production. And, aside from the wonder technical aspect it was incredibly worshipful. I was not prepared for that. There was a narrative throughout and the dancers were from 3 to 60 years old.

The 2 hour program was just beyond any words. Even watching it later on DVD didn’t do it justice. I was fortunate to be there with camera in hand. I took nearly 350 photos. I’ve pulled these 5 just for the motion and mystery they convey. I was very moved by the program, the message and the visual color and motion. I hope these convey a little of that to you.

::

::

::

::

::

Thank you Fellowship School of Dance for a very moving program. I have a whole new respect for this art.

- Kyle Dreier