Kyle Dreier - Mr. Critical

Since moving to Franklin, TN from Dallas, TX my wife and I have noticed that we’re not the only ones in love with our new surroundings yet loyal and proud of our previous home state, Texas.

We continue to get people asking us where we got our window sticker … I Texas TN … so I decided to make them available to anyone who desires one for themselves.

These are being offered for free with a little solicitation for a donation for our daughter-to-be (Ruby) whom we are adopting from China.

Get a window/bumper sticker. Make a donation. Celebrate Texas. Celebrate Tennessee. Support adoption.

Send your request (or your donation) to:
Kyle Dreier (for Ruby)
2039 Glastonbury Drive
Franklin, TN 37069

If you’re from Texas, post a “comment” and let us know where you’re from, what you miss from TX and what you like about TN.

Or, click here to join our Facebook Group.

– Kyle Dreier

It was brought to my attention by Heather Reddington yesterday that it has been more than a year since I’ve blogged on our adoption process. Me, being “always right” immediately challenged this claim and found out quickly I was wrong and she was right. So, now for an update on the past year …

We are still in the “waiting” stage BUT China does have all our paperwork. Our “log in date” is July 23, 2007. This means that on that date the Chinese authorities logged our paperwork and put us in line basically.

As of today “referrals” (the documents which actually have one’s child’s name) are coming about 24 to 26 months after login date. This being the case we’ll get our referral for our daughter, who we’ve already named Ruby, sometime around August 2009 or later. It is likely she’ll be about 12 months old at that time. If you do the math, this means that she’s probably been conceived but not yet born.

This is an odd place to be for us as we wait. To think that we’re adopting a little girl that isn’t yet born. That her mother may not have yet made a decision to give her up or abandon her. To think that this mother probably loves this baby girl very much and may be having to make a difficult decision because of finances or cultural pressures. We just don’t know but we pray the mother is healthy and is taking good care of this precious yet to be born girl.

In the meantime, we wait. At this point the only items on our to do list are to do fund raising and apply for grants to help offset the costs. In the end it’ll likely be around $16,000 to $20,000. Thankfully that is spread out and we’re about halfway through the expenses.

Look for another entry … in less than a year’s time.

- Kyle Dreier

I find it interesting how my perspective on adoption has been broadened in the last few weeks. I knew in my head that giving up a child for adoption must be a very difficult decision for a parent. However, I’ve been so focused on receiving a child and providing a safe, loving home that I’ve really just blown right past the depth of that decision for a parent.

Amy and I recently made the decision to give Max and Daisy up for adoption. While Max and Daisy aren’t our children (they are our dogs), we do love them and want a loving, caring home for them. This isn’t the first time our dogs have opened our eyes to aspects of parenting. (I’ll save the “obedience” and “consistency” subject for a later post.)

I’ve found that interviewing potential owners/homes for Max and Daisy has given me a much greater appreciation for the process Amy and I are going through for adopting our girl from China. Honestly, it makes all the questions, all the paperwork, all the legal steps seem inadequate for qualifying for adoption. While Amy and I know we will provide a loving and caring home for our girl it’s a difficult idea to convey through a process that spans many months, many miles and different countries.

Just as I want Max and Daisy to have a safe and loving home to spend the rest of their lives, I now feel more – albeit probably only a fraction – of what a parent must feel when deciding to allow someone else to raise, love and care for their natural born child.

- Kyle Dreier

As Amy and I get further into the process of adopting our girl from China I become more vocal with my convictions. I believe my convictions are becoming more developed as well.

I believe everyone needs to be involved in adoption. This doesn’t mean everyone needs to or is called to adopt, but I do think everyone needs to find their role in adoption whether it be helping a family with meals, baby sitting, finances … the list can go on endlessly.

As Amy and I begin the heavy lifting financial part of adoption I can see how some might put the cost of adoption as a barrier or even an excuse.

The cost for our adoption is going to run around $20,000. The part that makes this easier to swallow is this cost is spread out over about a 2 year period for us. People who adopt from other countries or even domestically could incur costs in a much shorter time frame.

I think about the power of numbers and how if everyone stepped up to the plate how the financial part wouldn’t even be an issue. Let me explain.

Our church has about 2,500 adults attend on a Sunday morning. What if each person said they would give $20 per month toward adoption. $20 is not a lot of money. That’s a couple of lunches each month. That’s a t-shirt from Gap. $20!

That $20 per month from $2,500 people would be $50,000 per month. Yes, $50,000! That’s $600,000 per year!

That could fund thirty to sixty adoptions per year. Why wouldn’t we do this? Wouldn’t that be incredible?

This is just one church! Think if five churches in Franklin/Brentwood area did this. There are a number of churches in the area with attendance much greater than this. And, the amount of wealth in this area is far above the national average.

Five churches funding an average of fifty adoptions per year is 250 adoptions at no cost to adoptive families. Why wouldn’t we do this? Think of the impact our luxury car driving, over-sized house living, name brand wearing community could have on so many children in need.

- Kyle Dreier

As Amy and I work through the seemingly endless steps toward adoption I find myself a little … well, let’s just say … exposed.

Last week included a trip to the doctor to get a physical which included a draw or two of blood and a TB test. The TB test is very strange. The nurse put a needle just below my skin and injected some odd fluid which created what looked to be a big honkin’ blister. She said “don’t touch it.” So, the rest of the day I walk around with this bubble on my arm. Yuck.

Last week also included a trip to the Franklin Police Department for a background check. They were nice enough to remind me that in 2001 I received a citation for an expired license plate registration. It’s a good thing I they don’t keep records on how many times I’ve cheated on my donut diet.

This is really just the beginning. We still have to go through the FBI finger printing and the US Immigration steps. All in all, it makes me look at this process and do a gut check about how serious we are about our plans. I can see how if someone were not fully on board they could easily get discouraged and never see the process through to the end.

I think about how we have so much to offer an adopted child. I’m thankful for what we have and hope to provide a better life for our daughter to be.

- Kyle Dreier

One of the things that I have always heard about adoption was the amount of paperwork. In all honesty it’s not insurmountable, but it is a lot. Amy and I have been working through the steps one at a time and today feels like a great step forward.

In the first part of our adoption application we were being asked to write about ourselves, our background, our desires, etc. That was a task since it wasn’t just a series of yes or no questions. The exercise was good though. It really brought up deep heart issues and gave me the chance to think through and articulate why we’re even taking this up hill journey.

Up hill? Yes. It would be much easier to no adopt. We’re not even to the steep part of the hill. What this up hill journey does is really make me answer the questions of “Am I really up for adopting.” “Do I really want to do this?”

The more paperwork we get past and the closer we get to completing each step the more I’m committed to adoption. It is very exciting.

So, why does today feel like big step forward? I think it’s because Amy and I are knocking out some paperwork that is simply easy things on what is a pretty lengthy list. I guess you could call it a sense of accomplishment. Little victories. Nothing feels better than checking something off.

I can already see how doing this process could open the door for future adoption(s). I’m not going to commit to this but I’ve seen it in friends who have adopted. Even the other night Amy Wooldridge made that very statement. I think about the life we have and are able to provide a child compared to the life they have.

Stay tuned.

- Kyle Dreier